Came suddenly. I love that lyric. How fast things have changed and are not the same anymore. I know the song is about a breakup but in some ways I think we’ve broken up with what was. This little video I made of cleaning up the band rooms about sums up the feelings. Sad because the year is ending. Grateful for my little helper. Wish the rooms were not empty yet. Yesterday.

I don’t know. My mind is frankly all over the place. Yesterday I went up and closed out the high school band room for the year. Today I closed the middle school one. It feels good that they are clean but it doesn’t feel good that that’s how the academic year ended. Kids have their “things.” Art, shop, sports, cheerleading, dance, clubs, music, band, choir, theater, the list can go on and on. As a teacher of one of those many subjects, I know there are kids that desperately need band right now and it was cut off for them suddenly. Their whole world was upended too. Whatever class that was for them, and band is one of them, there are so many kids that I can’t help but be thinking about. The class that they went to school for. The class they felt safe in. Lots of kids are ok. I think many are struggling. 

But, I did it. I cleaned it up and wished the whole time that we could have another rehearsal. Found notes and papers, and even CHEETOS wrappers (jsdlkdjsfdisofjdskl percussion!) on the floor that made me wish I could have them back. The schools are lonely and cold. Designed to be filled with chaos and kids, they seem without their normal life. And it doesn’t hum with the anticipation of summer or excitement of the end of the year.

I had myself a helper. He is 4 and a handful but he did help (at times). He ran around and around mostly, but he did help me carry some instruments and he did try to lift a stand or two. He even wore a mask for a bit and did as good as he could do. We did our best. I was grateful he was there with me. When he was there, he helped me stay focused because I knew I had such a limited time. Tears are burning a little in my eyes as things catch up with me now, however.

It’s a hard day but it will get brighter I know. The weather is SO dreary. Tomorrow things start to look up and warm up. I’m grateful for that! I know the kids will be too. Getting outside and back into the routine will be good. The school district is doing a car parade (where you stay in your car- my Jeep will be participating!) which will be fun I think. I plan to surprise a few people and students with things. There are fun projects ahead. Life will press on. We are grateful and we will be strong.

Cooking is good! Gas for my whole tank is under $18. Haven’t seen something like that since high school. By far my least expensive fill-up after the commute. Wow. Scarfs from the alma mater that double as good masks are good. Naps for the kid are good. Self care is good. Did my exercises and put some eye patches on. John Michael asked me why I put “sunscreen on those eyes.” haha! The weather is supposed to pick up. I think we will make a fire tonight until then.

His shiner is not good- he rain into the easel yesterday… woops. Poor fellow. Running around while not paying attention is probably not good…

The garden is growing! And we will too.