I’m a work in progress- as we all are. Lately really trying to focus in on the process and journey. I tend to be a perfectionist and have endless to-do lists. Which, let’s face it are just going to frustrate the hell out of me because there’s no way to be perfect and have everything done. It’s just not going to happen. The best I can do is to keep striving for better. Keep hustling. Keep grinding.
I’ve been working this summer on health: exercising everyday (an intense work-out every other day, but at least moving my body every single day otherwise), drinking more water, not drinking as much alcohol, eating cleaner, unplugging more, being more present and more mindful. Taking care to get enough sleep. I’ve definitely made strides in almost every area. The trick will be to get it to stay when the school year begins again. Interestingly I was thinking today about my workout journey over the years. In the past I always had these deadlines: “I want to look like this when I get married” was one such deadline. A huge motivator to look nice for your wedding. The harder part is just to stay healthy for the sake of being healthy. Not for looks or for a specific reason other than that. I’ve been reading books by Gretchen Rubin (I highly recommend them ALL by the way). She has this framework called the Four Tendencies. They are, upholder, obliger, questioner, and rebel.
I am an obliger. People pleaser to the max. I don’t want to let anyone down. I have a hard time saying “no.” So the thing is when it comes to my own inner expectations of myself, I tend to let them go because I can always put myself second or break a promise to myself. It’s not someone else. I don’t say this because I’m a martyr. It’s actually pretty stupid. It’s perfectionism and at the end of the day because I put myself last, I don’t even know myself at the end of it.
SO. I am working on it. I have been saying “no” more. I haven’t broken my promise to myself this summer yet (too much anyway) in regards to physical health. As I begin the school year I will be really intentional about priorities. Anything that does not align with our vision or is just extra for the sake of being extra is a flat-out no.
More on all this later because this obliger has to get some zzzzzzzs. I am off to see a concert this weekend with my co-worker and former student. Should be a blast!